Right Here Waiting
by Gladewing
Summary: And you're so independent...You just refuse to bend so I keep bending till I break, but you always find a way to keep me right here waiting..."
1. Right Here Waiting

_This story is based off of the song "Right Here Waiting" by Staind. These are the lyrics; continue on and you will find the story._

I know I've been mistaken,  
but just give me a break and see the changes that I've made  
I've got some imperfections,  
But how can you collect them all  
And throw them in my face?

_But you always find a way to keep me right here waiting  
You always find the words to say to keep me right here waiting  
And if you chose to walk away I'd still be right here waiting  
Searching for the things to say to keep you right here waiting_

I hope you're not intending  
To be so condescending, it's as much as I can take  
And you're so independent,  
You just refuse to bend  
So I keep bending 'till I break

_But you always find a way to keep me right here waiting  
You always find the words to say to keep me right here waiting  
And if you chose to walk away I'd still be right here waiting  
Searching for the things to say to keep you right here waiting_

I've made a commitment  
I'm willing to bleed for you  
I needed fulfillment  
I found what I need in you

Why can't you just forgive me?  
I don't want to relive all the mistakes I've made  
Along the way…

But I always find a way to keep you right here waiting  
I always find the words to say to keep you right here waiting

But you always find a way to keep me right here waiting  
You always find the words to say to keep me right here waiting  
And if I chose to walk away, would you be right here waiting?

Searching for the things to say to keep me right here...waiting


	2. Secret

Secret

I stared out into the night intently, my green eyes flicking around for any sign of movement. Yeah, so I may be a little vain about my fur - so what? At least I was a fantastic warrior. I always paid attention, and Firestar picked me often for this duty: night guard. I was one of few cats able to be relaxed but watching, more alert than a mouse in a camp full of cats. My tail flicked behind me; I couldn't help it - I was pretty proud of my abilities. Having outspoken Cloudtail for a father didn't help my slight vanity.

Right now, however, that wasn't where my thoughts were. I was barely even concentrating on what was in front of me. Instead, I was in a depressed state, with certain words flashing through my mind again and again. "_Some cats will always try to take what another cat has_." The younger cats may not have understood it, but I certainly did. It meant that Ashfur was _not_ over Squirrelflight. And I was definitely not over Ashfur.

I'd tried - I certainly had. But I'd had a bit of an unhealthy obsession with him since I'd become an apprentice, since I'd been old enough to understand the difference between wanting to be some cat's friend and wanting to be more. He'd been a young warrior then, and definitely out of my league. But when I'd become a warrior, I knew that I had a chance.

That is, until Squirrelflight crossed Ashfur's beautiful dark blue eyes. He'd padded after her like a kit after its mother. I had nothing against Squirrelflight - in fact, she was one of my best friends, since we'd trained together as apprentices. But that didn't change the fact that I saw what was coming: her rejection of Ashfur. Just like he was padding after her, she was after Brambleclaw, and in the end that was how they had ended up - the two of them together, and Ashfur and I apart.

Now, Squirrelflight and Brambleclaw's kits were apprentices. Moons and moons had passed, and _still_ Ashfur thought he was in love with the ginger she-cat.

I didn't know what to say to him to convince him otherwise. I hadn't even confided in anyone about it...and maybe, I thought suddenly, that was what I needed to do! I thought about all the cats that would care, and could only really come up with two, and they were Squirrelflight and Birchfall. I had to rule Squirrelflight out, at least temporarily. I couldn't help but think that if she hung around Ashfur trying to get him together with me, he would like her even more. So Birchfall. We'd been friends for a long time now. I could trust him with my secret.

&&&

The next day, I woke up around sunhigh. That was the good thing about being a night guard - even if you didn't guard the whole night, you got to sleep late. I stretched, extending even my claws, until my muscles shivered, feeling refreshed. I twitched my tail and padded outside, and was almost instantly met with Graystripe.

Graystripe was standing in for Brambleclaw ever since he, Squirrelflight, their kits, Stormfur, and Brook had left for the mountains. I know! She was gone! Nothing against Squirrelflight, but I was so grateful. Now was the best time to seize my chance.

"Whitewing!" Graystripe called. "Can you please join Dustpelt's patrol?" He flicked his tail toward the exit out of camp, where Dustpelt, Birchfall, and Hazelcloud stood, the eldest with an expression of impatience on his face. I nodded acceptance to our stand-in deputy and hurried toward the patrol.

"Hi, Whitewing," purred Birchfall.

"Good...sunhigh," I meowed after a moment of thought, and he and Hazelcloud laughed at me for sleeping in so late.

Dustpelt's ear twitched. He was visibly refusing to laugh. "Can we get on with this, please?"

"What are we doing?" I asked.

"We're hunting," answered Birchfall. That was when I remembered my decision from the night before - to tell Birchfall about my secret. So as we padded through the forest, I was too busy thinking of ways to bring it up to notice as I almost stepped on a mouse, and it shot away from my paws.

"What are you doing?" snapped Dustpelt. "If you aren't going to hunt, you can go back to camp."

I shook my head. "No, I'm sorry," I meowed quickly. "I just wasn't thinking straight. I'll make it up." To prove it, I looked around with keen eyes and almost immediately spotted a mouse. It was newleaf, and I was definitely thankful! I pounced toward it and dispatched it with one fluid movement, then lifted it up with a claw and smiled a little smugly at Dustpelt. Birchfall snickered, and Hazelcloud flicked her erstwhile mentor's ear with her tail in amusement.

"Come on, Dustpelt," purred the new warrior, licking down the fur on her grey-and-white chest. "Why don't we have a contest? You and I will split off from Birchfall and Whitewing, and we'll see who gets the more fresh-kill."

Dustpelt's eyes glinted with the heat of the competition. "Sounds good."

I couldn't help but let the smile curve my lips. This was definitely my chance. "Good to me, too," I purred. "On your mark..." He and Hazelcloud tensed. "Get set. Go!" They dashed away, and I turned back laughing to my hunting partner.

"So what's new?" he asked, grinning goofily at me.

"Actually, there was something I wanted to tell you." I decided to leap on the prey before it got away, so to speak.

"Really?" Birchfall tipped his head to one side. "What is it?"

I paused, and I could practically feel his tension growing. I wasn't trying to keep him in suspense; I was just trying to think of the best way to put it! But when I felt like he was at bursting point, I finally just blurted, "I think I may be in love with - Ashfur."

His expression didn't flicker. "Really?" he meowed, his voice sounding a little bit flat. I flinched. He didn't approve!

"Yes," I whispered.

"Well, why don't you talk to him?" His voice sounded a bit more controlled now, and a little bit more bouncy.

"'Cause he likes Squirrelflight."

Birchfall's expression flickered, but I couldn't tell what it changed into. "I don't know," he meowed vaguely, then he changed the subject. "Seen any prey?"

I furrowed my brow and answered in the negative, beginning to wonder if I'd been an idiot to tell Birchfall my secret. After all, he didn't seem to have taken it very well. Panic gripped my stomach. Would he tell anybody? Would he tell _Ashfur_? I took a deep breath and fell into the hunting crouch. These were things I'd have to worry about later.


	3. Envy

_Caged Bird in Demon Arms: Why wouldn't you be able to review? But anyway, thank you! I was going to do it 3rd person, but nyeh. XD_

_&_

_The Worst Nightmare: Thanks bunches! Here's your update._

Envy

The day passed by, and the sun began to set. Hazelcloud and Dustpelt had won the hunting competition, but then again, I hadn't really tried. I'd been distracted. Birchfall didn't even act angry with me. He just bestowed me with a small smile and left, and now I took small bites out of a warm fresh mouse under the Highledge, savoring the taste and not allowing my thoughts to stray beyond my reach.

Graystripe approached me about halfway through my mouse and inquired, "Whitewing, would you mind night duty again? You can sleep in again tomorrow..." he meowed persuasively.

I smiled at the old, noble ThunderClan warrior. He reminded me now of stories of Whitestorm, the ThunderClan deputy before I was born. "You don't have to convince me, Graystripe," I told him, "I like night duty."

Graystripe gave me a grateful smile. "Thanks, Whitewing. At around moonhigh you can switch with...ah..." He cast a glance around the camp. "Stormfur...no, we need him for the patrol tomorrow. Ah! Birchfall! He only woke up a little earlier than you did," he added, but it didn't feel like he was talking to me anymore. He bustled away toward Birchfall to con him into night duty after me, and I went back to my mouse, smiling slightly at Graystripe's busybody nature. Okay, so he wasn't as much like Whitestorm as it seemed sometimes. Graystripe wasn't nearly as soft-spoken.

All of a sudden, two small shapes rolled past me. I drew back my snowy paw slightly to allow them space, and smiled when I saw Icekit and Foxkit. They were approaching their sixth moon, I realized, and I poked Icekit with a paw.

"What are you two up to?" I purred.

Icekit gasped and sat up, ramrod straight. "Whitewing! Guess what, Whitewing?" she demanded, her blue eyes sparkling as brightly as her mother's, Ferncloud, and her uncle's, Ashfur.

"What? You're becoming an apprentice soon?" I faked a shocked gasp, and Foxkit batted at my ear with a russet paw.

"No," he meowed, then thoughtfully revised, "Well, yes, but that's not it!"

I purred with amusement and rasped my tongue between his ears. He grimaced and drew back, flaring his nose. "Well, tell me," I encouraged them. "I'm going to die with the suspense!" I widened my eyes and went tense for the effect.

Icekit snorted. "Yeah, right."

Foxkit rushed to answer me before his sister could. "Daisy's gonna have kits!"

"Is that so?" This _was_ news. I didn't like or dislike Daisy. For a while I'd worried she was pulling my mother and father apart, and I knew that she was in love with Cloudtail...so what was going on here? I couldn't help the tone of my voice, which was tense.

"What's wrong?" Foxkit tipped his head to one side.

I avoided the question, cuffing him over the head gently. "Do you know who the father is?" I asked him, careful to keep my voice playful. Surely Cloudtail...

Icekit leaned forward conspiritorially, and I felt my heart beat a frantic tattoo against my chest. No, my father wouldn't do that to Ferncloud. But _Ashfur_...could it be possible that he'd moved on?

"It's _Spiderleg_!" Icekit burst out.

I stared at her, barely repressing my sigh of relief. "Really?" I grinned. "Well, I didn't think Spiderleg had it in him. He's like his father - he doesn't _show_ interest in any cat!" I purred.

"Are you telling Whitewing the news, little kits?" purred Daisy's voice, and the pretty cream-colored horseplace cat.

Foxkit pulled a face at the queen. "I'm not a little kit."

"Neither am I!" Icekit rushed to agree.

Daisy smiled at them and licked them each on an ear. "I know that, but remember I watched you grow up. You'll always seem like little kits to me." She lifted her head to look at me. "Did they tell you?"

"Yes, they did," I meowed warmly. "Congratulations. I would never have imagined - you and Spiderleg!"

She nodded. "I didn't think so either, because..." She trailed off, and I sighed gently.

"Daisy, I know what you felt for Cloudtail," I meowed quietly so the kits couldn't hear. They dashed off toward the fresh-kill pile, bored with our softspoken conversation. "You don't have to worry about it anymore. Are you in love with Spiderleg?"

Again, she nodded. "Yes, and when we...well, when we mated, it was a lot different than me and Smoky." She looked exquisitely embarrassed. "It was better."

And because I wasn't the smartest cat, I let myself grow jealous. Carefully I hid my envy from Daisy. I may not hate her anymore, but she didn't need to know my secret yet. "That's great," I meowed warmly.

She gave me a grateful smile. "Thank you for listening, Whitewing." There was a different sort of gratitude in her eyes, and I knew that she knew I'd forgiven her for the dispute between my parents.

I nodded at her, and she padded away to touch muzzles with Spiderleg, who was coming in from a border patrol. I stared after her, then looked down at my half-eaten mouse. Having heard Daisy talk about her love life, I had no more appetite.


	4. Violated

_Niah-Miyoki: You are always hyper, Niah! It's great to see you again, but the Erins didn't include AshxWhite. It's a popular shipping but the Erins didn't think it up XD They are going to use SpiderxDaisy, however (it's been confirmed). So, how completely gross is that? Spiderleg doesn't like DAISY! -bludgeons Erins briefly- (No, I don't mean that, you know I love you guys. Gals.)  
&  
Tanpaw: Eesh. You may not like this story, homie.  
&  
Caged Bird in Demon Arms: Thanks, homie! (You guys are all my homie Gs.)_

**Important - This chapter is where the genre "Angst" begins.**

Violated

That night, of course, I was on guard duty again. This time, however, I kept my focus, staring out into the darkness that was the forest beyond our little hollow. There wasn't even one little sign of movement. It was nights like these that I almost wished something _would_ happen - these were boring, when there wasn't even a squirrel rustling out in the forest. I let out a small sigh.

And then I realized how quiet it really was. I mean, normally, the hoots of the owls floated all the way from the Ancient Oak to the hollow on the gentle carrying breeze. Not even they were singing tonight.

And then, "_Who_?"

I let out a small sigh of relief. Was I superstitious or what? And how weird was that? I _loved_ night duty; I'd never been scared of the dark, not even as a kit, and I wasn't now. I twisted around to give my fur a quick lick to plaster it down and let out a shaky purr of amusement at myself.

All of a sudden, I heard a quiet and sinister voice meow, "Whitewing?"

I jumped out of my skin and whirled around, bristling. I opened my jaws to let out a warning yowl of alarm (I was quick on the uptake) and suddenly felt a tail-full of fur stuff itself into my mouth. Well, you couldn't stop me that easily. I bit down hard, my sharp fangs drawing blood from the skin of the tail, and an angry swear.

"Whitewing, it's _me_! Birchfall!" the voice hissed furiously. My brain didn't send the signal to open my jaws; they just kind of fell open of their own accord.

"Don't scare me like that!" I admonished him, angry at him and at myself.

"I need to talk to you." His quiet voice was pleading, and his amber eyes shone almost eerily in the darkness.

"Um, okay," I meowed, a little unnerved. "Let me get someone to take over my watch, first, though...you were supposed to in a little while..."

"No, it'll be fine," he urged me, and he pushed me along up the slope of the hollow and outside, and then we just kept walking. I threw a concerned glance back at the hollow.

"Birchfall, I don't think we should leave the camp without a watch."

"It's fine," he encouraged, and pulled me on.

We had gone a long way, I noticed after a few moments. He was moving fast. And then all of a sudden he stopped and pushed me down into a sitting position. His eyes glowed weirdly in the night, which was barely lit by a crescent moon.

"Birchfall?" I ventured.

"Whitewing. There's something I wanted to tell you." His voice took on a strange tone when he said this, and I recognized it with a chill.

"Yes?" I whispered.

He paused for a long moment, and I felt an icy claw trail down my spine. Something was wrong here. My eyes flicked around as I searched for an escape, and something in my mind hit the rest of my brain with a heavy paw. _He's one of your best friends! It's just the dark night freaking you out_._ Brightheart always said it's possible to develop a fear for something you didn't fear before_.

"I think I may be in love with - _you_," Birchfall blurted after a moment, but unlike my voice had sounded, his sounded...well, not like he had blurted it without thinking. More like cold calculation.

And he had used _my exact words_.

"Oh," I said brilliantly. Silence fell. He never took his gleaming amber eyes off of me, and finally I meowed, "I'm sorry, Birchfall. I don't feel the same way."

He smiled slowly, sinisterly, and now I knew that my feelings of foreboding were real. I exploded off of my haunches, racing toward camp, and I felt his paws rake down my sides and shove me to the ground. I let out a cry of fear.

"It's okay," he soothed. I did not feel soothed. "Just lay still...It'll be over soon."

Of course, I had no idea what he was talking about until he crawled on top of me...And then it was just me wailing in shock and pain. I struggled, but he only seemed to take pleasure in that. He grunted one last time before stepping off of me, and then he put a paw on my back to ensure that I didn't go anywhere, but I was so weak with pain that I couldn't have done so if I tried.

"That wasn't so bad, was it?" he purred.

"You're a ... you're a monster," I hissed, lifting my paw and batting at him futilely. I felt _used_. Worse than that. I'd been brutally attacked.

"You'll come around to my way of thinking," he assured me.

"I'll tell Firestar," I gasped, struggling to my paws and then hitting the ground with a soft _thud_.

"No, you won't." He lifted a paw and stroked my face. I hissed and bit him, and he extended a claw and calmly sliced the tip of my ear. I yowled, but he took no notice. "Because if you do, these little episodes will be a lot worse." His voice softened. "Can't you understand I love you, Whitewing? There's no one else. There's been no one else since we trained as apprentices together."

I hissed at him.

"You'll love me," he murmured wistfully. Then he burrowed his muzzle beneath my stomach and heaved me to my paws. "Come, my love. We'll get you back to the warriors' den before any cat has noticed."

What was worst of all was that I couldn't defy him. I had to let him support me as I limped back to camp, because if I didn't, I'd be left in the forest, too weak to move.


	5. Thyme

_Niah - He is sadly named...which books haven't you read?  
&  
Caged Bird - Ohmygawd, 'tis Soraluver! Well, not anymore. You need to alert your homies about these name changes._

_I don't think this story has as much to do with that song as I thought...it's taken quite a twist from what I had planned...OH WELL! But if the first chapter (the song) gets deleted, don't worry - it just means that this story has nuffink to do with it anymore._

Thyme

I woke sore. Every muscle on my body ached like I'd slept in a funny position, but it was definitely not funny. I groaned as I turned over, trying to alleviate the pain, but it didn't work. Instead I just ended up waking Sorreltail, who blinked at me with wide amber eyes.

"That was a big groan," she observed. _You have no idea,_ I thought bitterly, squeezing my eyes shut without replying. A little worriedly, Sorreltail asked, "Are you okay, Whitewing? Should you go see Leafpool?"

_Leafpool!_ I shot to my paws and suppressed a cry when my muscles screamed in protest. Sorreltail jumped at my sudden movement. "Yes," I meowed distractedly. "Yes, I should go see Leafpool." I began to pad out of the den.

Sorreltail called after me, "You're walking a little differently. Did you pull a muscle?"

"What? Oh. Yes. I think so," I replied quietly, and then I trudged to Leafpool's den, every muscle groaning. I was about halfway there when my legs wouldn't carry me anymore, and I hit the ground with a thud.

"Whitewing!" And then Ashfur was at my side. I felt his warm breath on the side of my face as he licked my cheek. "Whitewing, are you okay? What's wrong?" he asked me urgently, pushing his nose against my muzzle.

"I just...Tired, I guess," I whispered, breathing in his scent and lifting my eyes to gaze into his dark blue orbs.

Ashfur narrowed his eyes, obviously not believing me. Well, there wasn't anything I could do about that. He glanced in front of me. "Were you heading to Leafpool's den?" he demanded.

Clearly, I was, so I just nodded.

"You're more than tired, Whitewing. Here, let me help you." I certainly didn't have an objection to Ashfur helping me. He helped me heave myself to my paws, and I leaned heavily against him as we limped together to Leafpool's den. I couldn't help remembering with a frightened shudder doing this exact same thing last night with some cat else. Ashfur felt my shiver and pressed his fur more closely against mine in concern.

"Ashfur, Whitewing?" Leafpool poked her head out of the medicine den. "What's going on here?" she demanded, rushing forward to support me from my other side. Leafpool and Ashfur helped me inside and lay me down on a soft nest of moss. I breathed a sigh of comfortable relief and sank down into the moss.

"She was headed to your den, and I saw her collapse from across the clearing," Ashfur explained to Leafpool. "She _says_ she's tired." I felt his gaze burn into me.

Leafpool lifted a white paw and poked me in the hindquarters. I couldn't help it; I let out a little yelp of pain, and with dismay I saw Leafpool's eyes sharpen. "Ashfur, I think I need to speak with Whitewing, alone, please," she meowed without taking her amber eyes off of me.

"Are you sure I can't stay?" For a moment Ashfur's face was soft with worry.

"I'll be sure to update you on her condition," replied Leafpool briskly. "Leave now, please."

My eyes followed him as he padded from the den, then I slowly turned to stare pleadingly at Leafpool. Did she know? What was she going to say to me? She sat down and curled her tail around her delicate paws and meowed calmly, "Whoever it was should have been more gentle for your first time."

I shivered. _I know_.

"Was it last night?" I could only nod in response. "Well, I can't test for pregnancy until about a quarter moon," she continued, and shock coursed through me, worse than the pain. _No! Not kits!_

Leafpool must have seen the horror in my eyes, because she meowed, none-too-gently, "Whitewing, you can't honestly expect to mate and avoid kits altogether."

I opened my jaws to tell her everything, but then I remembered those gleaming amber eyes and the words would not come. What if he really did make it more painful next time? What if there was a next time at all? The only words I managed to breathe were, "It was a mistake."

A look of raw pain crossed over Leafpool's face, and she looked like a vulnerable kit again. "I know how that goes," she meowed quietly.

I nodded. She was talking about when she had left with Crowfeather. It wasn't the same thing, though, I thought unhappily.

Leafpool padded away for a moment and came back with several small black seeds and a mouthful of leafy greens. "These are poppyseeds," she explained after putting down the leaves, extending her paw to show me the seeds. "And this is thyme. Both will help your shock and distress."

I didn't ask how she knew about my shock and distress. I obediently licked up the three seeds and chewed the thyme and swallowed.

Leafpool watched me as I did so. "I'll go tell Firestar and Graystripe to leave you be for today. Whoever mated with you was way too hard on you." She paused. "Do you want to tell me who?"

I nodded. She waited, and I whispered, "I can't."

She gazed at me piercingly, and I wondered if she suspected I was being disloyal to my Clan. There wasn't anything I could say or do except gaze back at her, hoping she saw the truth in my eyes.


	6. Excitement

_Tigerstar's Traitor: Aww, I'm sorry. At least I gave an angst warning, right?  
&  
Forever.Now: Thanks! I noticed that you're new to the site - right? Good luck_

Excitement

I felt the gentle nudge of a paw, this time careful and to my cheek, where it wouldn't hurt. I blinked open my eyes and saw the concerned amber eyes of the medicine cat, Leafpool. She leaned forward and gently licked my ear, and meowed, "Foxkit and Icekit are about to have their apprentice ceremonies. I wanted to know if you're going to attend."

Scrambling to my paws a bit faster than I should have, I nodded. "Of course I'll attend." I hid my disappointment that I obviously had not been chosen for a mentor, or Firestar would have told me at least by this morning. I followed the light tabby she-cat from her den and sat at the periphery of the gathering of cats.

I cast a glance about the crowd and almost immediately my eyes came in contact with Ashfur's. His were deep and sparkling with concern as they searched mine. I smiled apologetically at him, but he only shook his head. I wondered if he was hurt that I had lied to him, or if he was just worried.

"Cats of ThunderClan!" I looked up at the Highledge and saw Firestar standing there. Age had not taken away from his glory. He still gleamed like fire in the setting sunlight. (I had slept all day!) "I gather you here for one of my favorite duties, and one of the days that I'm sure Foxkit and Icekit will be telling their own grandkits about for seasons." He smiled affectionately down at the two kits. The one auburn and the other snow-white both had shining clean pelts, courtesy of their mother, most likely. "And as for their mentors, this is a day to remember as well."

I started. I had no idea who their mentors were.

Firestar continued, "Icekit, from this moment on, you will be known as Icepaw." His eyes scanned the crowd as Icepaw straightened, her blue eyes sparkling. "Sorreltail. I think you are ready for your first apprentice. Sandstorm passed on all her vigor and bravery to you, and I hope you do the same for Icepaw."

Sorreltail bounded forward. I noticed that her tortoiseshell-and-white pelt was as sleek as the kits'; she'd known she was going to be a mentor long enough to clean herself up. She touched Icepaw's nose with her own and then drew the apprentice to the edge of camp, where they began conversing excitedly.

"Foxkit," called Firestar, "from this moment on you will be Foxpaw." A slow smile spread across his face and he meowed one word: "Millie."

A none-too-quiet ripple of astonishment spread through the Clan, but I couldn't help but smiling along with Firestar, Millie, and Graystripe. Finally Millie was going to prove herself, and an apprentice might just be the best way to do it.

"You were once a kittypet," Firestar went on, "but then again, so was I. And I mentored Brambleclaw and Cloudtail, and I helped with Brackenfur's training, and no cat would dare say they are anything less than extraordinary. I know that you will do your best with Foxpaw's training."

Millie strode, dignified, toward her apprentice and she and the russet tomcat touched noses. I saw Foxpaw's eyes shining, and I guessed he was overjoyed that he had a special mentor.

And then I saw past them, where Birchfall gazed at me with intense amber eyes when by all rights he should be watching his youngest siblings' apprentice ceremony. Quickly I looked away, staring back up at Firestar, unnerved to the bone.

"I would also like to announce some very good news," he yowled. "And that is that Daisy is now with kit."

Daisy ducked her head into her long creamy chest fur, a smile splitting her face. Beside her, Spiderleg leaned into her side and licked her ear.

"Leafpool tells me they are due in about two and a quarter moons," Firestar announced. "The Clan is overjoyed to hear your news, Daisy. And now, I'll go ahead and assign patrols while I'm up here." He looked around. "Birchfall, Ashfur, Whitewing, Sorreltail, and Icepaw, if you would do border patrol, please. For a hunting patrol, Millie, Foxpaw, Brightheart, Ferncloud, and Mouseclaw." Then he paused while the cats dispersed and meowed, "Whitewing?" questioningly.

I knew what he meant - Leafpool had informed him of my condition. I wasn't about to miss a chance to do border patrol, my favorite duty next to night guarding - especially if Ashfur was there - so I just nodded at him and he blinked placidly in acceptance. I padded quickly to Ashfur and we joined Birchfall, Sorreltail, and Icepaw at the slope up out of camp.

Ashfur walked closely by my side as our patrol padded in the forest, but he remained coldly silent. Not to mention I could feel Birchfall's hot gaze on my back.

"So, which border are we going to?" Icepaw chirped excitedly, and Sorreltail let out a low purr. She was probably remembering how closely she resembled Icepaw when she was but an apprentice.

"ShadowClan, first," Ashfur, the oldest member of the patrol and therefore the leader, meowed over his shoulder to them.

"Ooh!" Icepaw shivered visibly, but a huge grin cracked her face. She was obviously looking forward to some action at the ShadowClan boundary.

We would find, just a little while later, that she was going to get her wish.


	7. Haunted

_Tigerstar's Traitor - I like cliffies XD  
&  
Niah - Read it! Now!  
&  
Purple-Arsenic - In my opinion, it's better. XD And thanks!  
&  
Rainfeather's Hope - Thank you!_

Haunted

As we drew closer to the boundary, Birchfall brushed past me, none-too-gently, and took the lead. I stumbled against Ashfur, who stoically pushed me back to my paws. I glared after Birchfall, whose fur was fluffed out angrily. Then, presumably as the reason for his shove, he announced, "I smell ShadowClan."

"Of course you do," purred a voice, and to my shock, a dark ginger she-cat--Russetfur, the ShadowClan deputy--slid from the undergrowth. Immediately I fell into the familiar fighting stance, flicking a glance over my shoulder toward Icepaw, who must have been petrified but was bristling, ready for a fight. Sorreltail edged closer to her apprentice, and slowly I maneuvered to plant myself in front of them, shielding them from Russetfur.

Russetfur flicked her tail, and at least eight warriors stepped out from the undergrowth. I heard Sorreltail whisper, "Go get help, _now_!" and then Icepaw dashed into the forest.

Russetfur shook her head when a cat tried to go after her. "We won't retreat this time." She took a step forward, threateningly. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Ashfur twitch his ear. He looked calm and was gazing at the ShadowClan deputy with contempt in his beautiful blue eyes.

"You don't honestly expect to win, do you?" he asked her. "After we beat you so badly last time you tried this?"

She hissed at him. "We're stronger now. Don't taunt us, ThunderClan filth."

Sorreltail and Birchfall padded forward on either side of Ashfur and I. We were all in loose crouches, seemingly unconcerned, but our muscles were tensed beneath our pelts. I narrowed my eyes, keeping my gaze on the warriors behind Russetfur, who were obviously ready to fight.

"Attack!" the deputy yowled, and it was almost as if she gave _us_ the order. The four of us leapt forward to meet the attack. I crashed bodily into a white she-cat like myself that I recognized as Snowbird and sank my claws deep into her shoulders. She screeched angrily and swiped her paw across my face.

"ShadowClan cats are fools to attack ThunderClan!" I hissed, shoving my nose against hers and baring my teeth in a feral snarl.

"Whitewing!" I heard Ashfur's panicked yowl about half a second before the huge heavy shape slammed into me and rolled me over. One of my legs strained against the ground, and came about a beetle's-length from breaking before I was on my back, battering my attacker's stomach with my paws.

It was Smokefoot, I found, a black tom with angry yellow eyes. I unsheathed my hind claws and raked them down his underbelly. His foreclaws dug viciously into my shoulders, and I gritted my teeth against a cry of pain.

A light tabby shape whipped past, and there was suddenly a line of red along Smokefoot's gray-black fur. He hissed and turned stupidly to find who had done the damage, and I took my chance, lifting a paw to sink my claws into his face and shoving him off of me by the head.

"Thanks, Birchfall!" I gasped, whipping around and flinging a paw out to stop the attacking leap of Smokefoot's apprentice, the aggressive Owlpaw. Gently I batted the apprentice away, not wanting to hurt him too badly but not wanting to be hurt _by_ him.

"ThunderClan's here!" I heard a voice yowl, and I let myself breathe a sigh of relief. My father Cloudtail streaked past me, and Brackenfur was right on his tail, hissing. All around us ThunderClan fought with ShadowClan.

A ginger shape leaped at me, and again I found myself locked on battle. "Rowanclaw!" I spat, clenching my teeth into his forepaw. He tried to spring away and only ended up stumbling, my jaws still grasping him; I jumped on top of his side and pinned him neatly to the ground.

"Get off!" he hissed.

"Like that's going to happen," I replied.

"Stop the fighting! Stop everything!" Russetfur's yowl was so loud, so shrieking, that every cat did stop. I heard a horrified sound and turned my head to see Hazelcloud, her eyes wide with shock.

Looking back, I saw that Russetfur had pinned a gray-and-white shape to the ground. The gray was turned black, the white to crimson, but I still recognized the strong musculature that Mouseclaw had inherited from his father Smoky.

"No," I hissed, instinctively letting my claws sink into Rowanclaw's withers, just above his shoulders. He spat at me in pain.

"Russetfur. Think of what you are doing." Graystripe stepped forward, his muzzle bloody, his eyes hard with anger and concern. "It is against the warrior code to kill, and I know you better than that. You may be a loyal ShadowClan cat--you may have followed Tigerstar. But you are no murderer."

The dark ginger she-cat bared her teeth in a wild smile. "You'll hand over this stretch of territory, or the young warrior dies."

"She can't be serious," I breathed. Rowanclaw huffed.

Russetfur slowly lifted a paw, and I got a glimpse of Mouseclaw's face. His soft eyes gleamed with terror.

Then there was a flash of pale gray fur and furious blue eyes, and suddenly Russetfur wasn't the one pinning, but the one being pinned. Ashfur dug his claws into the scruff of the ShadowClan deputy's neck and with one powerful swing, flung Russetfur away from him. Mouseclaw scrambled to his paws, and again the flurry of action began--but this time it was ShadowClan retreating.

"Ashfur!" I yowled, leaping from Rowanclaw and rushing to the pale gray warrior's side. "That was really brave of you," I whispered, rubbing my muzzle against Ashfur's impulsively.

To my pleasant surprise he let out a soft purr and touched his nose to my cheek. "Thanks, Whitewing," he meowed softly.

I realized right then that coming up to him had been a mistake, because I could feel the hot gaze of a certain amber-eyed light tabby who had made it his mission to haunt my every move.


	8. Perfection

_Forever.Now: Yes, actually, I did that in The Sunset Chronicles. XD  
&  
Rainfeather: Thankee!  
&  
Rubyheart481: Thanks! Sorry about your preference, but ah, well. XD_

Perfection

We all limped home, variously injured. My worst wounds were the slash Snowbird had left on my cheek and the deep clawmarks on my shoulders, courtesy of Smokefoot. But no one was badly hurt, and I could see the relief still hovering in Mouseclaw's eyes from Ashfur's rescue.

I walked by Ashfur's side, each step painful as my shoulders shifted, but I found I couldn't concentrate on the pain. For once, Ashfur's blue eyes were filled with warmth, and his pelt brushed mine the whole way back to the camp. By the time we'd gotten there it was almost moonhigh.

Ashfur paused where we walked at the back of the group, and the rest of the exhausted warriors padded onward. I stopped with Ashfur and cast him a questioning gaze. He said nothing.

"Are you coming?" I asked him.

"You know," he meowed quietly, "Icepaw fought like a warrior today, and she hasn't had one minute's worth of training."

I tipped my head to one side, remembering that Icepaw had rushed back with reinforcements and had, as Ashfur said, hurled herself back into battle. I hadn't precisely concentrated on the young she-cat's fighting, though. "I suppose she did, yes," I agreed with him.

"But every time I saw her," he continued as if I hadn't spoken, "I only saw her white fur. And then I was terrified that it would be stained with crimson." He lifted his eyes at last and I could gaze into the starlit blue depths. "But it wasn't even Icepaw's safety I was worried for. When I saw her blue eyes, they turned green."

I could see where he was going with this. My heart fluttered in my chest like a trapped bird, and I worried that with his next words it would burst from its enclosure of ribs.

"I was terrified that you were going to get hurt." He reached out a paw and gently brushed blood from my cheek.

"What are you saying, Ashfur?" I was trembling at this point. It was amazing how one cat could stir such obsessive behavior. He had my stomach twisting in on itself.

"I...I like you. A lot," he meowed.

I paused, a little crestfallen. But he didn't have to love me like I loved him. It was good enough that he wanted to be near me, and that he liked me in _that_ way.

He smiled, a small smile, but I could see the infinite sadness in his eyes.

"But you _love_ Squirrelflight," I whispered, my heart sinking to my paws.

"I don't know what I feel about her anymore," he replied, "because now there's you, and it isn't that easy." I flicked my ear for him to continue. I wanted more of an explanation than that. "It's easier to like you as much as I do when she's not around," he meowed finally.

"And when she comes back?" I said at last after a long moment. "What am I supposed to do about how much I like you?"

He blinked at me, and I saw at once relief and sorrow on his face.

"I'll just have to get over her, won't I?" he purred, and he slowly came over and very gently pushed me to the ground, obviously giving me time to stop him if that was what I wanted to do. But I didn't. This was what I wanted. He let out a soft moan and then began.

When it was over, I felt so satiated, so perfect, that I could get up and fly with the jaybirds. He purred and led me to the warriors' den, where we curled up next to each other, and I didn't even notice Birchfall where he watched from the other side.


	9. Bleeding Love

_Ohmygawd. My internet is a LOOZER. It goes out on me at random moments, so terribly sorry for the delay. _

_As for this story...I dislike it. Especially the last chapter. I'm gonna try and finish it quickly...ooh. Just thought of an ending. Spiffeh. Whee...but gotta get there first._

_Okay, review replies._

_Rainfeather's Hope: Thank you for the fave! And yeah I didn't like the last chapter. It was too rushed. Ooh, I like this song...(Easily distracted. I apologize.)_

_Heartsong (I CAN'T TYPE THE WORD THAT STARTS WITH AN 'F' THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WIF MAH FEEEENGERS...): Grr indeed. Well, that reply wasn't worth the price of admission._

_Purple-Arsenic: Yo home fizzle. You never know, you never know...muhah. Hahaha. Hah. Moo._

_  
Caged Bird In Demon Arms: Thanks for catchin' up and reviewing all the chappies. My email is weird too! -glares at computer-_

_Tigerstar's Traitor: Heehee. My preeeeshuuus...(For those of you that aren't Lord of the Rings fans...please ignore me.)_

_Rubyheart 481: Thank you very much. Reviews are spiffeh. I'm glad (I just wrote "glade" twice...I cannot type today.) you liked When They Took Over. I hope you like what I have so far of Veil of Darkness...too bad I totally lost inspiration on that. Ah, I'll finish it eventually._

_Reviews - FINITE! Now - Hi-ho, Silivar...(or Silver or whatever the hell the word is) Onward into...umm...the story. (-Gladewing tries to think of witty lead while typing in her corner of doom- [I have an emo corner of doom. It is portable and I take it with me wherever I go. Think of it as...an aura.)_

Bleeding Love

One moon had passed, and it was impossible not to tell now that I was pregnant. Even if I hadn't gone to Leafpool a half-moon ago to confirm it, it would be painfully obvious.

Every cat was overjoyed for me. Brightheart and Cloudtail were only barely containing their excitement that they would finally be getting grandkits. I knew Brightheart had always been a little disappointed that she hadn't had more than one kit. And I knew Firestar was happy, because we were basically supplying the Clan with some new apprentices; Daisy would kit about a moon before me, and no cat could ever predict how many kits a queen would have.

Yes, everyone was head over heels with joy for me, but I could only wonder whose kits they were. Birchfall's...or Ashfur's?

Ashfur and I had made it pretty obvious recently that we were mates. This made me glow with an inner happiness that I couldn't describe if I tried. Ferncloud was happy that her brother had finally gotten over Squirrelflight and mated with someone else, and it was commonly understood that Ashfur was the father of my kits.

But I was still unsure. Over the past moon, Birchfall had attacked me again, twice. It had not been nearly as brutal as the first time, but they had been longer, much longer, and the whole time he was whispering in my ear that I shouldn't have done this, I shouldn't have done that, shouldn't have left him for "that gray piece of fox-dung."

Would StarClan give me my kits based on who I really loved? Somehow I doubted that.

I now lived in the nursery with Daisy. She had swelled to twice her size, and it definitely obvious that her kits were on their way. Such was the size of her belly that it made her long cream fur seem shorter! I wondered if I looked like that, a little bit vainly.

Soft pawsteps sounded outside the queens' den, and white fur flashed as Icepaw padded inside. She gave me a mouse and Daisy a sparrow, then started to leave, but paused.

"I can tell you have something to say, Icepaw," meowed Daisy. I glanced at her and then at Icepaw. From the look on Icepaw's face, it was obvious that she did have something to say.

Emotions played across her face for a moment, but eventually one of them won out, and she meowed at last, "Foxpaw isn't happy."

"Foxpaw isn't happy?" Daisy tilted her cream head, a look of serenity on her face. "Whyever not?"

I caught onto Icepaw's story in an instant and, in the silence that followed Daisy's question, I mewed softly, "I do hope it isn't because of who his mentor is."

Icepaw flinched.

Daisy blinked calmly at her and brushed her tail soothingly along my spine. I lay my head on my paws, none too happy with Foxpaw's implication that a kittypet couldn't be a good mentor. Obviously this didn't mean much to Daisy, probably because she had no intention of ever being a mentor.

"Foxpaw has barely given Millie a moon's chance," she told the little white apprentice gently.

"He has!" protested Icepaw. "But he's just not happy."

"Has Millie not taught him everything Sorreltail has taught you?" Daisy asked.

Icepaw paused. "Well, yes she has."

"Tell Foxpaw to wait a little longer," Daisy advised, "before making a judgment call. Sometimes being taught by someone who is technically different from you is the best way to gain knowledge."

I saw her eyes soften and knew she was talking about how Cloudtail had been the one to really bring her into Clan life.

Icepaw nodded slowly and then quickly padded from the den. I twitched my ear at Daisy.

"You really know how to handle them."

"I helped raise them," she pointed out. "When kits are your life, it seems like every cat around you is just another kit to love and care for. You'll know in about two moons' time." She smiled at me radiantly.

I wondered vaguely if that was true, and suddenly I was worried that I wouldn't be the best mother for my kits that I could be. Daisy must have seen the panic on my face because she said quietly, "No she-cat is a bad mother, Whitewing."

"They can be," I whispered.

She shook her head. "All cats are good cats. They just make bad decisions."

My thoughts drifted with this statement to Birchfall. Could it be true that he was, essentially, pure at heart? That he had just made a bad decision to use me as he had?

I sighed and closed my eyes, laying my head again on my paws. Daisy settled comfortably against me and stroked my back with her tail maternally until I slipped into sleep.

_There you go everyone! First update in a while huh?_


	10. Time Stand Still

_Well, this story isn't going to last much longer...meaning it's almost finished, not that I'm going to delete it. :D But maybe there will be a sequel. Oh yeah, and I'm deleting C'est La Vie. Sorry you wonderful people who liked it, but I didn't. XD_

_Niah: Heehee, I have instilled hatred for Birchfall! I like._

_Caged Bird In Demon Arms: Thank you mucho!_

Time Stand Still

I woke with a start to shrill cries of warning. Daisy's head shot up where she slept a tail-length away, and we met each other's eyes with alarm. The sound had definitely been a warning.

Since I was the least heavy of the two of us, I padded swiftly to the entrance and peered out, and instantly I could see the source of the problem.

ShadowClan!

I saw Foxpaw's auburn fur and his sister Icepaw fly past. They both crashed bodily into a ShadowClan warrior and tussled with the tomcat on the ground. I was proud to see that the two apprentices effectively sent the warrior running with his tail between his legs but still my instinct was to run out and help. So I tried, but I felt sharp pricks as Daisy dug her teeth into my tail and dragged me back.

"You are _with kit_," she hissed between her teeth.

I nodded, albeit angrily. I should have been out _there_--fighting alongside my Clanmates! I stared at Daisy, who returned with an understanding look.

"I don't know how you do it," I said sullenly.

"I've never been a warrior," she pointed out. "I'm just not cut out for it. You know that."

I sighed and let her usher me into the dark safety at the very back of the nursery. With any luck, if any warriors came in, their visit would be brief and they wouldn't notice us back here. If not...woe betide the ShadowClan warrior that tried to hurt me!

Hearing the sounds of battle made me have to grit my teeth against leaping in. At one point Graystripe shoved a ShadowClan cat into the nursery, but in the next second the dark gray warrior was dragging the ShadowClan warrior back out, worrying it like a dog.

In the next second, a piercing shriek of horror rose above the clamor of battle. Neither Daisy nor I could ignore it, especially since the sounds of fighting stopped instantly, and we heard pawsteps receding in a panicked race.

I sprang from the shadows and pelted from the nursery, Daisy wobbling after me more slowly. Almost immediately I saw what had happened.

A pile of pale gray fur, flecked with dark gray, lay motionless in the center of camp.

I felt my heart stop for a long moment--that is, until I saw him, Ashfur, standing horrorstruck a few tail-lengths away. His blue eyes were wide with shock, and his claws were digging into the ground.

Slowly I looked back at the unmoving heap of gray pelt.

Ferncloud.

"No," whispered Daisy.

"No!" screeched an all-too-familiar voice--Birchfall. The light tabby sprang forward and landed with his face buried in his mother's fur. Standing a tail-length away, Foxpaw and Icepaw looked tiny, like little kits again, their faces written with grief.

I lifted my head to stare at Ashfur. I knew that whatever I did now, I couldn't comfort him. His sister, with whom he'd survived a race against time and death with a pack of dogs, lay dead before him.

It was far too understandable that Ferncloud had been the one to die. She hadn't been a warrior for moons and moons; she'd become used to the queens' den, and to nursing kits. She had been unprepared for the ShadowClan attack.

Slowly, Firestar came forward and touched his nose gently to Ferncloud's cheek. "We have lost a great cat today," he murmured.

Birchfall's head reared up, and to every cat's shock, he bit at Firestar. My flame-colored great-uncle danced back easily out of Birchfall's reach, his green eyes wide. I bared my teeth and hissed at Birchfall's display of disrespect, as did most of the others.

"Don't touch her," hissed Birchfall.

"Birchfall." Ashfur's voice was cold and hard as ice as he spoke to his nephew. "Back away. We must hold vigil for her."

"She's my mother!" wailed Birchfall.

"I'm her brother," replied Ashfur in what was like a sarcastic mockery of a gentle voice. It sounded brittle, like ice cracking slowly across a torrential river of emotion.

"Oh, Ferncloud," breathed Daisy beside me. I saw what was about to happen and shifted, quick as a snake, to hold her up before she could collapse. I looked up and met Firestar's eyes, and he nodded; I was to take Daisy back to the nursery.

Quickly I supported her to the queens' den, and let her lay down comfortably, but then I came back out and stood by Ashfur's side as he shared tongues with his sister for the last time. He gazed at me for just a moment with such grief in his eyes that I wondered if he would ever recover.


	11. Till I Break

_Guess what guys? This is the next-to-last chapter!_

_Rainfeather: Whee, I'm splendiriffic! Okay, okay, you're a girl, I'm sorry! Yeah I like Foxpaw and Icepaw's names too :D  
-suspicious stare- How do _you_ know it fits in with the plotline?_

_Forever.Now: Um, thanks, but I find it a little hard to believe if you don't know the name of it, lol. (I just said lol.)_

_Caged: Yes, I think she was the Erins' way of adding more apprentices to the lot, haha._

_Niah: Heehee. Niiiiiice._

_Heartsong: Yes indeedy._

Till I Break

I woke suddenly after the vigil with my heart racing, thudding in my chest as if it was trying desperately to break loose. I got to my paws. My skin felt cold. I wasn't quite sure what was going on, but my paws led me silently from the nursery, and my eyes caught sight of pale brown fur leaving the camp up the slope, and with another painful thud of my heart I followed.

I padded swiftly up the slope out of camp, feeling my belly swing beneath me. Hearing the pawsteps ahead of me gain speed, I tried to follow suit. It seemed as if the cat was just going in a circle around the camp.

All of a sudden, the paws crunching on leaves stopped, and a voice, ragged and cracking, hissed, "Whitewing?"

I froze where I stood and did not say a word.

"I know you're there. Well? Why are you following me?"

"Where are you going?" I tried to make it sound authoritative, demanding, but it came out instead as a cracked whisper, uncertain.

"That's none of your business."

I opened my mouth to say, "Yes, it is!" but then I thought, _No. It isn't. He isn't my mate. I don't love him. I hate him._ I knew it was true, but I felt a tugging duty to my Clan. What if Birchfall was meeting an enemy? "It's my business as a Clanmate to know," I snapped.

"But you don't love me."

This came from out of nowhere. I paused for a moment and then said, "No. Of course I don't love you, Birchfall."

He let out a choked sob, and I crept forward to a spot where moonlight filtered in a pure circle from the trees. He stood near the hollow, glaring at me, his eyes bright with grief.

"There is no one." He paused. "I don't care about Foxpaw and Icepaw. They don't mean anything to me. Dustpelt never cared if I lived or died with my brother and sister. Spiderleg doesn't speak with me. Ferncloud's dead, and you don't love me."

"Isn't there anyone else for you?" I said desperately. I wondered vaguely, as if I was detached from myself, if perhaps Birchfall could learn to like toms...but I shook that thought away. Now was no time for that. I had already seen what was coming as Birchfall inched toward the edge of the hollow.

He had gone all the way around the camp, and now we were at the steepest edge that there was.

"Birchfall," I whispered.

"Don't try it," he said softly, his voice suddenly clear and pure, more beautiful than it had ever sounded to me through all the moons I'd known him. "Don't try to stop me."

And then he flung himself from the cliff.

&&&

"No! Look! Ashfur...wing is alive. She's breathing...nothing's broken...are unharmed."

My eyes fluttered open and my ears became sensitive to these words. Were they talking about me? But no. Why wouldn't I be breathing? Why would something be broken?

Then it all came flooding back to me.

I had let out a ragged cry and chased after him. _What a mousebrain_, I thought. But I hadn't flung myself stupidly from the edge. I'd skidded down the rocky side, but the last couple of tail-lengths I'd lost my clawhold and fallen. Then everything had gone black.

I shot to my paws and heard Ashfur's cry of "Whitewing!"

"Where is he?" I shrieked.

"Whitewing." This was Leafpool's gentle but authoritative voice. I let her and my mate push me gently back down. "I have to finish checking you for injuries."

"Leafpool," I whispered, and then one word: "Birchfall?"

Her clear amber eyes met mine, and I couldn't bear to look at their sympathetic depths. I turned to Ashfur and saw sorrow and love in his deep blue eyes, and I knew, without a doubt, the truth.

I had survived and had sustained no injuries.

Birchfall had not.


	12. Radiant

_Forever.Now: Heehee._

_Rainfeather: No, she did not! Haha. But she doesn't want to see any cat die like that!_

_Okay, guys! Last chapter!_

Radiant

One moon old, Stormkit and Starlingkit tussled, spitting and hissing like full-grown warriors, on the floor of the nursery. Daisy smiled at them, purring maternally. Starlingkit looked just like her, except with russet-brown eyes, deeper and more colorful than Spiderleg's. Stormkit was jet black like his father with his mother's bright green eyes.

To my intense pleasure, the brother and sister had started calling me "Aunt". Starlingkit did so now, squeaking hastily, "Aunt! Aunt Whitewing, _help_!"

I smiled and purred. "True warriors must think for themselves, young one."

The little cream-colored she-kit made a derisive noise and batted at her brother's ears.

"Think on your paws, Starlingkit!" I meowed. "Go for his belly!"

Immediately she shifted her assault from his ears to his tender underbelly with her hind paws. In the exact moment that she drove her paw into his stomach, I felt a hard pain in my own belly, which I ignored until it came again with twice as much force, making my knees buckle.

"Daisy!" I gasped, but the queen already knew what was happening. She grabbed her kits up in her jaws and leaped from the nursery. She was probably going to leave them with Spiderleg and get Leafpool in the process.

My stomach contracted again, and this time I let loose with a soft cry of pain. I had watched Daisy giving birth, but to me it hadn't seemed very painful. But then, she was used to kitting.

And again! I grunted, sliding down to the floor.

"Whitewing, I'm here." Leafpool burst onto the scene, skidding to a stop and dropping several leaves at my mouth. "Eat that quickly. It's borage--it'll help with the kitting, and with your flow of milk."

Obediently I devoured the bitter-tasting leaves, trying to focus on something other than the hard pains that hit my stomach every couple of minutes.

Leafpool felt my belly with a gentle probing paw. "They're definitely ready to come."

"I know that!" I gasped.

I heard her soft amused purr. "Just push with all your might when I tell you to, all right, Whitewing?"

Daisy came in and stood at my head, along with Brightheart. "It'll be fine, love," Brightheart purred, and Daisy stroked my forehead gently.

The time began to blur. It felt like hours of painful pangs in my stomach before Leafpool finally meowed, "Whitewing..." Her words slurred, and I flicked my ear an attempt to hear her, wondering if she'd taken one too many poppyseeds. Then she said more clearly, "Whitewing! Push!" and I realized it was me, delirious with the pain, that had heard her voice strangely.

I gave a mighty push, obediently doing what she told me to do. I let out an awful cry that I felt more than heard, and felt a sudden, if brief, sense of relief. I didn't have time to ask Leafpool what had happened before she was crying out again: "Lick, you two! Push, Whitewing! There's another!"

Minutes. Pain. Contractions. Cries. Soothing murmurs that didn't soothe.

"Just one more, Whitewing."

The third. And the last? Really? Was it finally going to be over? In eagerness I pushed, and then finally the contractions and the pains came to an end. I lay gasping for breath on the soft floor of the nursery, hearing soft mewling cries and motherly purrs from Daisy, Brightheart, and Leafpool.

I blinked open my eyes, having not realized they were closed.

"Leafpool...my kits..."

"Three healthy beautiful kits!" she declared. She lifted them up and put them before me, and I let out a purr before I'd even looked at them, because I already knew they were beautiful.

There was a tom and two she-kits. The sole tom was the largest of the group and looked exactly like his father and aunt Ferncloud; he was pale gray with darker flecks on his hindquarters. The first she-kit, the smaller one, was pure white with a few pale gray splotches, and the other was...

I froze.

The other she-kit was a pale golden-brown tabby.

"Whitewing!"

I quickly recovered from my momentary paralysis as Ashfur dashed toward me, covering my face with licks. "Oh, I'm so glad you're all right, my love," he whispered in my ear. Then he gasped. "Are these beautiful kits really _ours_?"

I purred in response.

He leaned down to rasp his tongue over the pale tabby, to my surprise, but I said nothing. "Have you thought of names?" he asked.

I nodded shyly and finally found my voice. "I thought...I thought Rainkit for the one that looks like you. The only tom. And Frostkit for the one that looks kind of like me."

He nodded. "Definitely. Those are beautiful and fitting names."

"But I can't...I can't think of one for the last," I finished lamely.

"Goldenkit," he replied. "She, like the others, will be the golden sun in our lives."

I smiled and purred again. "She'll pale in comparison to how bright you are in mine," I whispered, and he licked my cheek.

Rainkit, Frostkit, and Goldenkit snuggled into my belly, and Ashfur curled around my spine lovingly. I looked up at my mother and the she-cat who had been like a mother to me these past three moons, Brightheart and Daisy. Leafpool smiled at me brightly, and cats began to crowd in to see the new additions to the Clans, Stormkit and Starlingkit at the head of the audience.

A million memories flashed through my mind, happy, sad, horrible--Birchfall's attacks and then his death, Ferncloud's murder, the first time Ashfur and I were together. But no matter how strong of an emotion they had made me feel, it paled in comparison to this moment.

I don't think even the sun itself could have shone more radiantly than me.

**FIN**


	13. Fin

Okay, everyone!

How'd you like it? Huh, huh? Tell me everything!

Oh, yeah. If you want me to write a sequel, then consider this: It's either **A)** a sequel to _Right Here Waiting_, or **B)** I finish _C'est La Vie._

If you want a sequel, please give me some ideas! What would you like it to be about? Who would you like it to center on? Would you like it to be angsty (which is my normal style) or what? Tell me people!

A huge thank-you to all my special reviewers who stuck with me throughout this whole thing. In no particular order, those people who reviewed more than once:

**Purple-Arsenic**

**Caged Bird In Demon's Arms  
Forever.Now**

**Rainfeather's Hope**

**Heartsong's Fanfictions**

**Niah-Miyoki**

**Rubyheart 481**

**Tigerstar's Traitor**

Credits to

**Whitewing** for being an extremely sweet and versatile cat to write about, and letting me rather f(Oo) up her life for the sake of a good story.  
**Ashfur** for being a lover, not a fighter, in this story.  
**Birchfall** for unconsciously allowing me to kill him.  
**Ferncloud** for not having kits in this story.  
**Daisy** for not being annoying.  
**My best friend ever**, also known as my "Emo Buddy", for making me laugh in my emo moments.  
**Another really good friend, Amanda,** for thinking it's way cool that I can write fanfics.

Okay, I'm done. Thanks again everybody!

Love,

Mickey/Gladewing


	14. Heroes and Thieves

the first chapter of

**Heroes and Thieves**

the response to "Right Here Waiting"

is now up on Fanfiction!

If you enjoyed "Right Here Waiting"...

Go read!


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